Third and Fourth Quarter 2010

Wow, four months and some odd days since my last quarterly. And being this late I’m going back and forth between writing now and being done for the year or waiting until closer to year’s end. Hmmm.. I think I’ll write now and if anything really big comes up I’ll just write a “one off” for the blog.

My apologies for the length of this post.

When I Think Of Home

That is one of the few awesome songs from The Wiz (a must MISS) and covered by Kristen Chenoweth on an episode of Glee last season. Both song and show are a must NOT MISS but if you buy the song on iTunes be prepared for the final note. That’s’all I’ll say. Last note aside, the song is a lovely sentiment and even though it talks about finding “home” inside one’s self there still isn’t anything better than being “home” – whether it be a place, family, friends or that somewhere inside yourself.

My trip home this August was something I needed very badly this year. It was just about everything it needed to be. That which it was not…I’m still talking to my therapist about. But home brought a great time at Halsted Days, a stay at a posh downtown apartment my friend Josh procured from his Shrek connections and then some really great time in the suburbs with family and friends. So thank you to all who I saw and spent that quality time with. It was exactly what I needed in order to come back rejuvenated.

Cheer LA

While away in August I got a text from my friend Megan: “Hey, are we still going to the Cheer LA clinic tonight?!” Doh and darn it! I forgot that I totally sold her on getting involved in the squad and here I was in Chicago unable to attend. I figured since I wasn’t going to go she wouldn’t. Um, she did. Oh yes she did, all without me. That’s fine because then she gave me the 411 before the next clinic. This group is serious let me just tell you that. I cheered in college and it was tough then – this group is collegiate style and I ain’t in college no more. (Actually, I am. See section to follow on UCLA.) After that first clinic I felt as though someone beat me with at 2X4. Seriously. This old grey mare, she ain’t what she used to be. Still I mustered to get it together and make it to the tryout two days later. Megs and I (I call her Megs sometime) were all there and nervous and hoping to do well.

Like any great cheer tryout there was an interview portion that was taken into account when being considered for the squad. After my interview I was all “Ok, I totally sucked at that.” I wasn’t “on” and I just wasn’t feeling it. My tryout was good and I did get a compliment on my toe touch jump but I wasn’t convinced I would make it. Megs on the other hand is young, gorgeous, great body and looked great during tryouts. I’m all “If that DB makes it and I don’t I’m going to be so mad/embarrassed/happy for her!” At the end of tryouts we were told that we would receive an email the next day, one way or the other.

Cut to next day: interior, my apt. I’m at my laptop and see an email from Cheer LA. Nervously I clicked on the email, it read:

Congratulations, Don!

You have been selected to be a member of Cheer LA. Our first practice with the full 2010-2011 team will start next Tuesday, August 24, 7:30 PM, at the LA School of Gymnastics. We're excited to have you on the team and look forward to seeing you then!

Please make sure you have read the Cheer LA Handbook before coming to practice. We will provide a copy of the "Acceptance of Policies" page for you to sign. Please also bring your health insurance card/information (as we will need to keep a copy on file for our records) and a $50 check payable to Cheer LA for your annual gym insurance.

See you Tuesday!

Cheer LA Board of Directors

Woo-hoo!! I couldn’t wait to hear from Megan! Um. Er. Yeah. She’s all “I didn’t make it.” I couldn’t believe it. How did this happen?

But I’m on the squad. :) Check out our site: www.cheerla.org The squad does great fundraising for HIV related charities as well as other charities in need. I’m proud to be a part of the squad.

AND THIS JUST IN AND RELATED TO CHEER LA:

I just got back from Palm Springs Pride weekend and it was pretty great…with an exception: I lost my car keys. Ugh, right? I didn’t realize this until Sunday morning when we were getting ready to leave the hotel. I was in a panic. Here are some bullet points regarding this entire craziness:

· I searched the room up and down and inside and out. I also searched the bag I brought more than once. More than twice even. So there I was left to wonder: “Ok, how am I going to get home? Get this car home?”

· I called AAA to ask them to send someone out to open my car – maybe the keys were in there. AAA came out and – no luck. The keys were NOT in the car. I asked how much it would be for them to make a new key. Their answer: $600.00. Ok, so pass on that.

· I called the closest VW dealership to ask them how much a new key would be. Their answer: around $100. BETTER answer however they couldn’t do it until Monday morning and I’d need the code from the owner’s manual. And since that was in the trunk and the trunk could not be opened (even from the inside) that option was out.

· Thought: who has keys to my apt that might be able to drive my keys down to Palm Springs? I did ask one friend who was unable to drive out. After that first request I thought it was just TOO much to ask of anyone.

· Talking to that friend we thought that maybe she could next day FedEx me my keys…except FedEx was closed on Sunday. Ok, so that’s out. Btw, that friend that I called and thought had the keys to my apt didn’t have them after all. Note: as of today she does!

· Called AAA again to find out how much a tow would be. Their answer: since I don’t have AAA+ (memo to self, get AAA+) it would be about $700. IF I had AAA+ I would have only had to pay for a few miles, which would have come to about $100. So that option was out.

· Finally the AAA guy made a suggestion that I ultimately went with: rent a car from Palm Springs, drive the two hours back to West Hollywood, pick up my extra set of keys, drive the two hours back to Palm Springs, return the car, take a cab to my car at the hotel and drive the two hours home. The there and back and there and back lasted 6.5 hours. I left Palm Springs at 5:20 pm and finally returned home safe and sound at midnight on the dot.

BUT TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE (could they get worse? YES!)

So all of the above was going on and ultimately done throughout the day while we had to perform in the parade and at the event. It was hard at times to have fun with this whole thing hanging over my head but I knew I had to concentrate and be present during the stunts or else someone could get hurt…and no one did!

But here’s what made matters worse: at the event a guy I did not (and still do not) recognized me and came up to me. This is the conversation:

Him “Didn’t you used to go to Oil Can Harry’s (gay line dancing country bar) a lot?”

Me (smiling and friendly) – “Yes, I did.”

Him – “Yeah. I remember seeing you all the time. You used to be really skinny.”

Pause. When I finally came to I said: “So I am fat now?”

Him – “No, you just look more filled in. More muscles….you look good….”

Me (NOT smiling OR friendly) – radio silence

Him - “I’m sorry. As you can tell, I’m pretty drunk.”

Me – “You don’t seem drunk to me.”

Him – “ Would you like to dance?”

Me – “We’re not allowed to dance in uniform.”

I cried it out during the 6.5-hour drive. I’m over it now. Seriously that a 43 grown (and apparently “filled out”) man can get so upset over this is just too much. Memo to self: talk to therapist about this.

OH WAIT…THE KICKER

When I got home to pick up my spare set of keys I decided to charge my phone. While it was charging I figured I’d unpack my bag. There in the side pocket were my car keys. They were not lost after all.The only thing lost was 6.5 hours of my life and my sanity.Determined to not let this get the better of me I decided that I would just enjoy the car rides and listen to music I haven’t listened to in a while. I did and I did.

Back, back, back to school again…

I am fortunate enough to be a recipient of another UCLA grant for one class this quarter. I’m taking my third class, New Media Reporting, in UCLA’s Extension Print and Broadcast Communication Program. It’s all about using blogs, video, audio, slideshow when reporting as well as underscoring the importance of social networking media as a tool to drive traffic to our work. On the first day of class we were told to pair up, go out to UCLA campus and do a man on the street interview. Neither of the two gals I was working with was interested in being the on camera person so I reluctantly (yes I hear the snickers and the “come on!”s) stepped up and in. Unfortunately the line does not work. If/when it does I'll post it to my Facebook page.

Note: Prop 19 did NOT pass so recreational “wacky tobacky” (nod to Jer) is not legal in CA.

Other things to keep me busy

I auditioned for and booked a gig called “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job Chrimbus Special.” It’s really something else, let me tell you. I was not aware of the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job show on Cartoon Network Adultswim and I’m kinda glad I wasn’t. Going in blind for this gig was better for me. However, after working with them and the rest of the cast and crew I would jump at the chance of doing another project with them. Basically, the way I see the show, is that it’s like The Pee Wee Herman Show done by two middle aged straight frat guys. It’s odd and uncomfortable and silly and weird but paid well so what the hell Mrs. Upjohn. (that last part is a movie reference for those scratching your heads.) In any event, the project we shot was their Chrimbus Special (their version of Christmas), a sort of variety/skit show. I was hired as a back up dancer/elf but was promoted to choreographer. So all the dancing you see on the show, for better or for worse, will be my doing (or undoing.) The episode is scheduled to air Sunday, December 5, 2010.The following images may give you an indication of what to expect:

When I first moved to California I had the great opportunity to volunteer for an event called Best In Drag Show. It’s a fundraiser for an organization called Aid for AIDS in Southern California where six or so drag contestants compete in a pseudo “beauty pageant.” The show had an opening number – and that’s what I set my sights on.After seeing the guys dance in that number I knew I just had to be in it. I tried each year since 2003 to try to become one of those dancers and FINALLY this year I was invited. It was very challenging to dance in very high heels. Oh, did I mention the “costume” I’d be dancing in was drag? : ) But it was totally fun and totally worth it. The organization raised over $300,000.00 that night alone – just that night from the time people walked in until they crowned the winner. A couple of the TV star judges donated $10,000 each – personally from their own checkbooks. The generosity in the audience was overwhelming. The talent on stage from the contestants was overwhelming. And the shade backstage from one dancer in particular was…well, let’s just say she knew I was on to her and knew I would call her out so she quickly back peddled on her attitude. Uh huh, that’s what I thoughts. Snap.

For those of you who didn’t see these pics on Facebook, here are some shots from the night. I had my makeup professionally done. I told the make up artist to use Donna Mills circa Abbey Ewing as a reference. My friend Monte who does hair on Glee bought and styled my wig just to suit me. His work was the talk of backstage. Look at my hair everyone…yes, look at it.

And finally keeping me busy is yet another charity. I’m currently working on the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center’s annual gala. My friend Eric was involved last year and told me it was a great time. I didn’t have to be asked twice when I found out that the center was honoring Chicago’s own Jane Lynch (coach Sue Sylvester) and will be hosted by Lily Tomlin. Also in attendance will be special guest star Carol Burnett. I’m going to try very hard to get a photo with Carol Burnett but we’ll see. Even though I volunteered on the auction committee (thanks for the Garretts Popcorn Scott and cookbooks Bon Appétit – more on that later) I’d still have to pay $150.00 for the DISCOUNTED ticket if I wanted to attend. In true form I offered up my volunteer services at the event as a docent for the silent auction and will, as I’d hoped, be attending for free. That’s coming up Saturday, November 13.

I’m Sure I Had Nothing To Do With It

So I was talking to my friend and former colleague, Sharon Suh, and during the conversation she randomly said “You really should email Barbara (Fairchild, Editor-in-Chief of Bon Appétit) directly and tell her that you’re interested in helping if she’d ever need anyone.” I’m all “Sharon, she already has an assistant.” Sharon was all “Don! Just email her yourself.” As a means of pacifying my dear and forceful friend I emailed Babs (my pet name for her) that night.

Within 48 hours I got a call from Bon Appétit saying that Marcia, Babs’ assistant, fell and broke her arm and was going to be in a cast for an undetermined amount of time and could I come fill in for her. Could I? Would I? Enter Eve Herrington. I’m sure I had no idea…poor, poor Marcia. But seriously, I had nothing to do her fall – that’s ON THE RECORD.

I’ve been sitting at Marcia’s desk since September 1 and will sit here until Babs’ last day on Tuesday, November 23. On Monday, September 20 Babs announced that Bon Appétit would be moving to New York and she would be stepping down as Editor-in-Chief. RATS!! Just as I got back in!! There’s been a lot of emotion here at the office, But I’m at an advantage because I’ve had an entire year to deal with my grieving about the magazine and it tossing me aside. Still, if I were to be offered a job in New York I would take it like THAT. (insert audio of snapping finger.)

Year end – thank goodness!

That wraps things up for now. It’s been quite a year for me. I’ve had challenging years in the past (as we all have) but this one in particular really put me to the test. I’ll be happy to see it go. I’m only going to look ahead and with my positive mental attitude I know I can make it through whatever life dishes out to me. Even the good stuff so listen up universe. Send some good stuff already!! : )

In an effort to spend the least amount of money on a flight home for the holidays I had to make an extended trip. I’ll be in Chicago from Wednesday, December 15 through Thursday, December 30. As usual I’ll be spending time between the city and the suburbs. Also as usual I will be wanting and NEEDING to see friends while I’m home. More and more I’m loving my connection and time with friends so let’s try to make some dates.