Boyfriends...kinda

Sometimes auditions can be fun. Take a recent audition I went on for a Sara Lee commercial for example. The commercial is to air in Europe, the role - “real gay couple lounging at home” – again, a commercial to air in Europe. The only place this MIGHT air in the U.S. is late night on Logo. But I digress. In any event I stated in my submission that I’m an openly gay actor but do not have a boyfriend. I figured they would decide whether or not they wanted to call me in. They decided to call me in – yay – so I went.

Once at the audition I signed in and waited with the rest of the folks. The coordinator came in and started calling names from the sign in sheet. First guy called – was there with his real boyfriend. Second guy called – was there with his real boyfriend. She got to me and:

Her: Are you here with your boyfriend?

Me: I don’t have a boyfriend (pause) but I’d like one. Can I get one here? This is what I signed up for, right? (Got a few laughs. Had to try to ease the slight awkwardness of being asked if I had a boyfriend with all eyes on me saying I don’t.)

Her: Ahh…well, is there anyone you can call? A friend?

Me: If I had someone to call I’d have that boyfriend. (Some giggles, thankfully she was amused)

Her: Ok, well I’m sure I can pair you with someone. (Looking at names on clipboard, calls out) Spencer. Are you here with your boyfriend?

Spencer: No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

Me: Well you do now. And just my type. (Said with squinted eyes. A few giggles…I swear I was killing in that waiting room.)

Spencer came to sit next to me. Mid 30s, so nice and cute and tall and etc. Mother is American, father Argentinean. Opera major in college yet looked hipster-y…in a good way. We chatted and I asked if we should tell them that we really are not boyfriends. He’s all “Hell no. If they want boyfriends, we’re boyfriends. If they want an English accent I walk in speaking an English accent and saying I’m from Kensington.” I thought - Fine with me, you’re hot.

While waiting to go in to the audition room a familiar face walked by and I heard: “Legs!” There’s only a small group of people that call me that and sure enough it was a guy I did my first acting gig out here with. Some might recall “Jesus Is My Drinkin Buddy" where I was dance captain and may or may not have worn shorts that were short enough to show off my legs. Yet another digression. So my friend John was both auditioning and working in casting at this place. After we chatted for a bit I got back to Spencer and was all “Ok, how did we meet?” He’s all “We met doing Jesus Is My Drinking Buddy” (said with smile.) Uh huh, quick on his feet but then said “Your friend is cute.” Ugh. Well, I can look past that minor infidelity since we’ve only been officially dating for about seven minutes.

They called us in. We got in the room and were told that the first thing they wanted from us on camera was to just talk about our relationship –how we met, etc , etc so they could see our chemistry. I could tell Spencer, standing beside me at that point, was looking at me without looking at me, and I was doing the same thing. As if we were both thinking “Are we really going to say we’re real boyfriends?” They asked if we were a couple and we said yes and off we went. The auditioners laughed and were all “You guys are funny.” After our shtick…I mean, story, we did the audition. This was our direction:

One of you is on the sofa, lounging shirtless in boxer shorts and the other walks in with two cups of coffee, offers it to the other and then joins him on the sofa. Cute. I, of course, schlepped the coffee in. The scene went smoothly enough. I think we did a cute job. We were thanked and left. As we were walking out Spencer was all “That was such a bomb. They totally knew we weren’t boyfriends.” I’m all “Really? I thought they liked it and it was believable.” Maybe I just got caught up in the whole fantasy to see what it must have really looked like.

Cut to Spencer and I becoming overnight sensations in the European gay marker. Fingers crossed.