First half of 2009

First half of 2009

It seems as though these are becoming less and less of a quarterly and more and more of bi annual. With that said, here we go…

Mood

I started off the last quarterly talking about my mood and this update is no different. My mood remains the same: eh. There’s nothing more to say, really. I’m just blah these days. At least two years ago when I was in what I call my “official mild depression” I could tell. I was crying and I wasn’t eating…ahh, the good old days. Now I’m just ok one moment, happy the next and really moody after that. And before I hear (or a read) a collective “What else is new? That’s the Don we all know.” Hah ha and ha ha. Let me just say that there is a difference. I’m unexcited about things; uninspired. In a word: bored. And what a surprise it was when I came across a message about this very subject in an email. Some of you know I get a “Daily Om” email and some of the messages really speak to me. Because this one did so in such a particular way I want to share it with everyone.

But before I do I have to say that the other day I decided that I’m going to try to make the conscious choice to be happy everyday. Versus what you might ask? Well, versus just reacting to what each day brings me. Just waking up and basically feeling that since I don’t have a specific stake in the day or feeling about it I’ll be fine just doing and feeling whatever. Let me tell you, that is not a good way to face each day. Why not? Well because with that attitude I’d given up my “say” in the day and would just react to whatever came my way. Bad drivers meant I’d be in a bad mood on my way to work. Missing the elevator meant the mood continued, etc, etc. It’s a pretty passive way to live. I understand that we all need to take a break from our lives and just let things happen but I’ve realized I’ve let A LOT of time go by in that frame of mind. And while I’m not completely out of the woods yet, I’m working on it.

And now the message I referred to earlier:

Fanning the Creative Flames - Boredom

The human mind thrives on novelty. What was once a source of pleasure can become tedious after a time. Though our lives are full, boredom lurks around every corner because we innately long for new experiences. Yet boredom by its very nature is passive. In this idle state of mind, we may feel frustrated at our inability to channel our mental energy into productive or engaging tasks. We may even attempt to lose ourselves in purposeless or self-destructive pursuits. While this can be a sign of depression, it can also be an invitation issued from your mind, asking you to challenge yourself. Boredom can become the motivation that drives you to learn, explore the exotic, experiment, and harness the boundless creative energy within.

In Hindu and Buddhist traditions, boredom is perceived as a pathway to self-awareness. Boredom itself is not detrimental to the soul—it is the manner in which we respond to it that determines whether it becomes a positive or a negative influence in our lives. When you respond by actively filling the emptiness you feel lurking in yourself, you cultivate creativity and innovation. If, when in the grip of boredom, you have difficulty acknowledging the merits of any activities you might otherwise enjoy, generate your own inspiration. Before you find yourself beset by boredom, create a list of tasks you can consult when it feels like there is simply nothing to do. Referring to a list of topics you want to learn more about, projects you’ve yet to begin, or even pending chores can spark your creative energy and reawaken your zest for life.

When we are troubled by boredom, it is not that there is nothing to do but rather that we are not stimulated by the options before us. A bored mind can be the canvas upon which innovation is painted and the womb in which novelty is nourished. When you identify boredom as a signal that you need to test your boundaries, it can be the force that presses you to strive for opportunities you thought were beyond your reach and to indulge your desire for adventure.

PROJECTS

As some of you may have seen by my recent Facebook postings I was involved in two different photography projects. I receive general casting information and sometimes included are requests from artists/photographers looking for people to donate their time in exchange for images taken/shot. I’m always happy to oblige. The projects are usually fun, require very minimal time or effort on my part and I end up with some “artistic” images I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Check them out on my Facebook page.

There is one project that I’m pretty excited about and that’s a documentary I’m involved with. A woman working on her master’s in directing is doing her thesis film on “coming out” (of the closet) stories. When looking for her subjects for this film she just asked for anyone interested to submit their coming out story to her and she’d go from there. I wrote her a brief (YES, BRIEF!) description of my experience after which she requested an interview. We met and she decided that she wanted me involved in her documentary. There are two other people whose stories she’ll include but I’m the only gay man. We’ve shot three days of on camera interviews, a day of “B roll” (that’s the footage that is run while there’s a voiceover happening) of me dancing in a ballet class, B roll of when my sisters, Renee and Rhonda, hiking when they came to see me (a little more on that later), and some B roll of me at L.A.’s Gay Pride Parade last weekend. There is still one more day of B roll and one more day of interviews.

If there is one thing that is kind of speaking to me these days it’s being involved in this project. I feel like I have some things to say on this subject and am very happy to be able to do so. Marsha, the director, plans to submit a short version of the film for her master’s thesis and then cut a longer version of the film to submit to gay and lesbian film festivals next year. I’ll keep you all posted on this as things become known.

OTHER STUFF

Continuing on this topic, I attended the GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Awards this year at the Nokia Theatre in downtown Los Angeles. It was a pretty star studded event that recognizes and honors the mainstream media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the LGBT community and the issues that affect their lives/my life. While there I began to feel strongly about something for the first time in a while. Like, it’s good work this organization does, worthwhile work and I want to be involved. I know I’ve told some of you this story verbally but for those I did not; when I was at the GLAAD Awards I felt very much the same way I felt when I attended my first Dance for Life performance in 1994. I’d never been to that event, I’d never even heard of Dance for Life, but I went and was mesmerized that evening. What a magical night. On THAT night I thought: “I need to be a part of this somehow” and the very next year I was on stage performing in it. That’s how I felt at the GLAAD Awards. I would not be surprised to find myself involved with GLAAD and/or the GLAAD Awards. If not next year, some year.

Again on that same note, I’ve been thinking about this thing called a “day job” (you all have heard of it, right?) and that if I HAVE to work one, why not make it as GOOD a one as possible, yeah? So I got to thinking...(I know – uh oh) but seriously, I thought: I do like the idea of working for a magazine. It speaks to me. And people have said that I should write (more than just these quarterlies). And actually about two years ago I contacted The Advocate magazine (a gay and lesbian magazine) for an informational interview. It was successful in that we met and had a positive experience but, alas, no jobs were available at the time. I have been keeping in touch with my contact there and continue to do so but these days I’m putting a little bit more steam behind my campaign to get hired there. One friend connected me with the Editor in Chief so I sent my information that way and still another friend is going to connect me with the publisher. I will get in there. I will because I feel it’s the right place for me. Once in I’m convinced I will begin paving the way to my new career and destiny.

Wow, dramatic, huh? Well, hello!! Whose update are you reading anyway?

And finally on this same note I’m looking into starting the Print and Broadcast Journalism Program at UCLA this fall. And, again, more on this as it happens. I think this would be a great way to combine my writing skills with the on air/hosting stuff I think is my true calling.

OH, WHAT A GREAT TIME

The last weekend of May was spent with my sisters Renee and Rhonda coming to L.A. to visit me. No other reason, just to visit me. Can I just tell you how happy that made me? The weekend was about the three of us just hanging out and doing whatever WE wanted. For them – no husbands or children. For me – the same since I still have neither – no husband or children - but that’s another section at another time. Our schedule was pretty packed. We hiked (but didn’t use the word “hike” when telling Renee hee hee) up a popular path called Runyon Canyon (google it, it has an interesting history), went to lunch at the famous Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills, shopping on Robertson at Kitson (and other shops), went to dinner at one of Ashton Kutcher’s restaurants – Ketchup and then for a drink at one of the biggest and most popular gay bars in West Hollywood – the Abbey. And that was just one day folks. We kept up the pace (sort of) spending a lot of Saturday getting spa services, going to Hollywood Blvd to see the stars on the sidewalk and snuck a peek at Wil Farrell attending the premiere of his movie “Land of the Lost” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. From there we freshened up and had dinner at the fancy schmancy Nobu where we saw Ashley Simpson and her husband (what’s his name) dining there as well. The managers of both Nobu and Ketchup sent out a couple of dishes to our table - “compliments of the management.” We also got great seating and great service at both places. I guess it pays to put the reservations under: Don Pietranczyk with Bon Appetit Magazine. J Any old way, Saturday night ended with drinks at their hotel lobby bar…that would be the Regent Beverly Wilshire (famed hotel from Pretty Woman) in Beverly Hills. They were off Sunday late morning and I came home to nap! I’m keeping everything crossed that we can make this an every year or maybe every other year event. Thank you for coming girls. I love my sisters.

The Thursday following all that I flew to New York to attend the Tony Awards. One of my best friends, Josh, is involved in Shrek, The Musical and the show was nominated for a few Tony Awards. Unfortunately Josh wasn’t nominated for his choreography but thankfully he (and guest – ME) was invited to attend. I saw a lot of stars at the Tonys and was in awe most of the evening. I’ve never been inside Radio City Music Hall before. That is a really great theatre; so grande, so much history. It was awesome. Josh had an 8:00 am rehearsal the day of the Tonys at Radio City Music Hall and told me the following: Jane Fonda complained that the font was too small on the teleprompter and that if they expected her to read it they were going to have to make it bigger; Liza Minelli showed up in sweats and “busted hair”, and Dolly Parton was in FULL make-up, wig, sequin gown and heels for the rehearsal…AT 8:00 AM!! I love it! The rest of the weekend was great and was spent taking ballet class, shopping, chatting over coffee, etc, etc. Thank you for inviting me, Josh. I had a great, great time.

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST

In my last update I wrote about my father’s failing health. As a lot of you (if not all of you) know my father passed at the end of March. I flew home on Wednesday for a wake on Thursday, funeral on Friday and flew back on Saturday. It – the funeral experience - all happened so fast. Even though I had been preparing for the event there’s no REAL preparation for such a thing. AND even though I wrote that I’d been mentally writing my father’s eulogy, when it came time for me to give it I decided against it that morning. A personal choice. It’s written. I’m considering sharing it with you all next year on the anniversary of his passing. I know I’ve thanked all of you I saw in person and responded to those of you who wrote to me but I’ll take this opportunity one last time to thank you all again for your sympathy and support. It was felt and appreciated.

On this subject, and to lighten things up a bit (um, how?...you’ll see/read) I must share something that happened at the cemetery portion of my father’s funeral. So, there we are, in the chapel. Mass is over and we’re all getting ready for this part of the funeral and the funeral in general to be completed. The mood is somber. Since father was a marine the Marine Honor Guards were there to present my mother with the American flag that had been draped over the coffin. So the Marines are doing their bit, VERY ceremonious, very serious. It was touching and emotional. Aside from some sobs and the faint sound of the recording of “Taps” playing in the background the entire chapel was silent. Then. It. Happened. A cell phone went off. Who the F has their cell phone on at a funeral?! For the love of Nancy, I mean REALLY. Who? WHOOOOOO? It was Fr. Marty’s cell phone. Uh huh. The priest, who presided over the funeral (in his denim and sandals and no socks) – HIS cell phone. He fumbled for it, turned it off and apologized: “I’m very sorry, this never happens…” Uh huh, FREAK. Ok, so the Marines continue with their pomp and circumstance only to have a cell phone go off again. Whose? WHOOOOOOSE? Uh huh, Fr. Marty’s – AGAIN. It rang and rang until he finally (and successfully? Who knows at this point) shut it off again. And if all of that weren’t enough, at the luncheon the “cell phone episode’ was part of the general discussion among attendees. I mean, how could it not be? Well someone was good enough to answer the nagging question of “What was Fr. Marty’s ring tone? It sounded so familiar.”

The answer: Talk Dirty To Me, by Poison.

I can’t. It’s just too much. I mean, seriously. Not even an Indigo Girls song? I mean, they’re mainstream and sound like lesbian nuns…I mean, are lesbians that sound like nuns. In any event, MEMO TO SELF: remember to write a letter to the Bishop of Chicago and TELL ON FR. MARTY!! Just recalling that story gets me fired up at that priest!!

That’s all for now folks. Be good and I hope to hear from you all soon and perhaps see some of you when I’m in Chicago July 31-August 10.

HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!

xoxo