Third Quarter 2009

Third Quarter 2009

It looks like a lot but I promise…it will go fast…that’s what he said – hey yoh!!

Chicago Fun

• Arrived Friday July 31 – went to Grant Park w/dancing friends. Ate, drank, laughed and gossiped about the people who weren’t there.
• Saturday, August 1 – “moved into” Ritz Carlton where I stayed all weekend with my friend Eric.
• Spent the weekend doing lots of fun stuff but most importantly Halsted Days/Market Days on the north side. Had a large amount of purple slushies. Mmmm….purple slushies.
• Monday, August 3 – “moved to the suburbs” for the week where I stayed with my little sister and her family. LOTS of fun with my niece Morganna (Morgan) and my nephew “the Dubbs” or “Dubby” (Jayden Wallace…Dubbs = W for Wallace).
• Thursday, August 6 – “moved into The James Hotel” where I stayed all weekend with my friend Josh.
• Spent the weekend doing lots of fun stuff like biking from the museums up to the Hollywood Beach and back to Navy Pier where we rented the bikes. Also, had a great dinner out for my birthday Saturday night and took a ballet class Sunday morning at the new Joffrey Ballet School.
• Loved the visit, miss my family, miss my friends and miss the city. : (

Good date/OK date/Bad date

So I went on a few dates in the recent past. They reflected the range of what dates can be like. Here are the highlights:

Good date

I met Cary on line. He’s a nice guy. Fun. Funny. BIG personality – uh, yeah, even bigger than mine. We met for coffee and spent about 3 hours talking about everything under the sun. Actually we mostly talked politics and I enjoyed myself very much. We both seemed to. We live within a block of each other so we walked each other to the mid point and decided that we would both like to have another date. He’s been traveling since but will be back in town soon. We’ve connected over email and a couple of calls since our date and I know that we both are still interested. So, not bad, right? Good guy, looked like the picture he posted online and I still found him attractive, has a brain, knows how to use it, knows how to communicate – all in all, a good date.

For more on Cary you can visit his website at: www.goharrison.com You can see a picture of him as well as get a sense for his personality and opinion on things. My friend Nina thinks he’s kind of a character. This website is his business website. But aren’t we all one way in the office and then another at home. I know I may or may not be.

OK date

I met Thomas on line. He, too, is a nice guy. After a day’s worth of emailing back and forth via the dating site we met on we decided to meet for a lunch date the following day. Normally I would only do coffee as a means of having a “quick getaway” should I need it (note: on coffee dates always have the coffee in a “to go” cup for those quick getaways) but since I found out that a colleague of mine knew Thomas and gave me some positive feedback on him I thought I would be safe. We met for lunch at what I would call a fancy upscale French bakery.

Sidenote: When I first moved to West Hollywood in 2003 and I was in between jobs I remember going to this restaurant with my friend Jim/Grammy – not knowing anything about the place. It’s in my neighborhood and we stumbled upon it. That day when Grammy and I sat down and looked at the menu and prices we both almost screamed. He was out of work too (and being originally from Chicago as well shares my opinion on what I think realistic/appropriate prices for lunch items are/should be.)

In any event, I digress…

But when Thomas suggested this place I thought “Well, I’m employed now and can totally manage this lunch, no problemo.” So we meet. He looks MOSTLY like his picture but good enough to not send me running and screaming. We ended up having a really great conversation over lunch but I concluded he’s a fancy gay. More like an “advanced” gay. I want to write something a little more in depth about this concept but briefly (uh huh, right…briefly as he launches into yet ANOTHER digression…) one characteristic of an “advanced” gay is that has lots of money whether earned on his own or handed over to him by his family. From the sounds of things Thomas earned his for himself. That’s a good thing already. Mind you, being an advanced gay is not a bad thing, it’s just a different thing than what I am. Anyhoot, so he has money, as well as: owns a design showroom in the Pacific Design Center (our Merchandise Mart for you Chicagoans), had his home redone by, in his words, “a famous designer and it’s been published…twice”, and so on and so on. Now I’m fine with most of this since during our conversation he was a nice enough guy but all of that stuff…that’s just a lot. A lot of stuff that I’m not a part of and don’t want to be a part of…at least part of someone elses. I want it to be mine or mine and my partner’s together. I don’t like the idea of being brought on/in after the fact. But then again, at my age most of the men my age are going to be established…ok, let me think more about this and get back to you.

The point (there’s a point?) is that Thomas and I had a nice enough date. I didn’t want to rule him out on anything superficial as all the above so when I got back to the office we had the following email exchange:

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Hi Thomas,

I enjoyed meeting you and talking with you at lunch today. Sometimes first dates can be awkward but I didn't feel that way for a moment. Thanks for meeting me. I'd like to do it again sometime if you have the interest and time.

Have a wonderful rest of your day.

Don

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Hey Don,

It was nice meeting you too -- you are charming, smart, and well-dressed! I definately felt a kindred-spirit, but it was not of the romantic nature. It would be great to hang out and go to dance some time.

Hope your evening was swell! Enjoy the day.

Best,

Thomas

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Good morning Thomas,

Thanks for writing me back and being open and candid with your response/feelings. I appreciate it. Too many gay men don't have the tact or courage to respond as such and it just makes for awkward and confusing situations.

I know your schedule is quite busy but perhaps post Ireland we'll be able to coordinate a social event that works for both of us. Have a great trip.

Best regards,

Don

Points for good manners to Thomas but that is the end of things with Thomas.

Bad date

Oy. This one. Oy. I met Alan on line (seeing a pattern here?) Handsome, smart, around my age – a doctor – I know! - and interested in meeting up – what else could I want. We met for coffee (the pattern continues). I walked up in my sunglasses but promptly took them off. It’s our first meeting we were in the shade, there was no need for sunglasses. Or at least I had no need for sunglasses. Apparently Alan needs to wear shades in the shade. Too cool for school already but Ok, whatevs. So we get to talking and it seems to be going ok-ish. The conversation isn’t flowing but they can’t all flow on the first date, right? However, during the conversation I find some things out about Alan that might explain why things aren’t flowing so easily. It turns out that this guy was engaged to be married to a woman up until only a few years ago. Now, I don’t’ have anything against gay men being romantically involved with women. I was at some point (late 80s/early 90s) and enjoyed that time very much. However, when I realized my true calling in life I was done with all that. And even though I was in my early to mid 20s it took some time for me to become comfortable in my homosexuality. I’d say about 5 to 10 years. That’s just me, everyone is different. But what I’m saying is that there needs to be some time taken to get to know yourself and what you want and don’t want and are about and not about etc and it seemed as though I was meeting Alan before that time had passed. He didn’t seem terribly comfortable on the date. (Hey, maybe that’s why he kept his shades on…but COME ON I didn’t show up in drag or shorty short shorts – UMMMAH, NO I DID NOT) Whatever the case he continued his ill at ease behavior by what seemed like over compensation. What I mean is this: At various times during our conversation the following two topics were mentioned by him as though he was talking about the weather: The Iliad and Odyssey and the characters within that book and how they compare/relate to life today and the Crimean War and how Poland, like the Ukraine was a peasant country and remained so and blah blah blah. I zoned out during that part thinking: “Did he email me a syllabus for this date? Can I get someone’s notes? I’m so behind! Is there a paper due, too?!” Needless to say Alan and I won’t be going out on another date…at least without ample time for me to study for and take and pass the GMAT.

Cinderella

I’ve been rehearsing a ballet, Cinderella, for the past month. We open this weekend and while it’s not shaping up to be everything I wanted it to be/think it could be, I have been in worse productions. WAY WORSE. I was excited to be a part of this production because it’s the first full-length ballet that I’ve done in a long time. And the director/choreographer is a gal from Chicago that I danced with at Ruth Page Foundation. But truth be told, the REAL reason I’m wanting to do this show is because I’ve been cast as Annastacia, one of evil stepsisters. Some say ugly, I say evil. It is not uncommon for men to play a villainess in a ballet so when I saw the breakdown for this part I was all over it. It’s been very fun so far. Working with the actress (she’s more of an actress than a dancer) who plays the wicked stepmother has been fun and educational. We play off each other very well and I think I’m learning some good improv skills. The gal who plays the other stepsister…ugh…THAT ONE. It has not been confirmed but I have my suspicion she is/was a special needs student at some point. And that’s fine but I don’t’ think the choreographer realizes that and expects Daniella to produce as though she weren’t. It’s very frustrating. Regardless of what she may or may not be I know one thing for sure – she is NOT a dancer and is NOT an actress and slows things down and frustrates and maddens me to the point where I said: “Daniellaaaaaaa, you make it very easy for me to get in character!” But the good part is that my character gets to be SO MEAN to her…on stage that is…I mean it IS in the show…it IS what the choreographer told me to do…she TOLD me to PUSH Daniella… : ) I’ve fashioned my character as a combo platter of: the mean stepsister in Drew Barrymore’s “Ever After” plus Nellio Olsen with a little of the “oh, I’m gonna tell” girl from “Mommie Dearest.” That’s quite a character make up, isn’t it? Oh yeah, plus whatever little bits of my own I want to throw in. No pointe shoes but full on tulle skirt, make up and wig. It’s going to be fun!

(This just in: performed last week and had a blast. Below is a review from a local newspaper [apologies to those who have read this already]:

Blending classical ballet with a more modern sensibility, Cinderella: A Rock and Romance Ballet features fine dancing, humorous acting and creative production work. It contrasts the seriousness of ballet with slapstick comedic moments to create an entertaining family dance event.

The production reveals the classic fairy tale of Cinderella (Ariana Emnace), the poor working girl to her stepmother (Vanessa Vaughn) and stepsisters (Don Pietranczyk and Daniela Shambaugh) who longs to go to the ball. While there, she steals the Prince’s (Enton Hoxha) heart. Will she achieve her happy ending?

Choreographer Alice L. Walker designs the ball as the production’s centerpiece, combining traditional ballet, gymnastics and physical comedy, and featuring plenty of comedic primping and flirting along with Pietranczyk’s flamboyant drag turn as Anastasia, the high-energy sister. Walker also creates a visually-stunning, human clock sequence.

The ball showcases excellent dancing by Hoxha, Eduardo Costa and Brent Cannons Clickard, demonstrating physicality along with finesse. Theresa Farrell also gives a sensitive, elegant performance as the ‘Diva.’ Young Emnace shows much promise in her relaxed, delicate portrayal. As ‘Aurora,’ the birdlike fairy, Kasha Kropinski brings a graceful, vulnerable presence.

Richard Taylor’s subtle lighting adds a romantic glow, along with suggestive atmosphere through excellent shadow effects. Walker and Johnny Ow’s simple, colorful sets bring a touch of whimsy to the proceedings.

A lighthearted story with a happy ending, Cinderella: A Rock and Romance Ballet provides fun and entertainment for all ages.

“Cinderella: A Rock and Romance Ballet” plays Friday, October 16 at 8pm and Saturday, October 17 at 3pm and 8pm at the El Portal Theatre (5269 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood, CA). Tickets cost $25 and $35. Please visit

UCLA

I was supposed to start my Fundamentals of Reporting and Writing class at UCLA last week but after waiting around for 40 minutes the rest of the class and I decided that the teacher wasn’t going to show up. As it turns out he had a medical emergency but will be there this week. Unfortunately due to a dress rehearsal for Cinderella I’ll be missing the first class. Ugh, I hate that. I already emailed the teacher to see what I’d be missing and to be made aware of any homework I’d need to have ready for next week. I’ll keep you all posted throughout the semester.

You know I was sitting in that first row last week.

Last thoughts

I’ve been “hand modeling” for the magazine for a few issues here and there. Just little pictures but it’s fun and cool enough. Any old way, look for my hands in the December issue in a section of Bon Appetit Magazine called “Prep School.” It’s a section that shows how to do different things in the kitchen step by step. In December I’ll be “coring pears” and “segmenting citrus.” This may be my swan song issue though because the printer says he has to do too much work “post shoot.” I was all: “WHAT?” He said that the magazine wants the hands to look more neutral – not masculine or feminine – and I have too much hair on my arms. Also he said: “And if you could gain some weight in your hands that would be good, too. We have to fill them in too much because they’re a little boney.” Ummah, I have GREAT hands…just ask me, I’ll tell you so. : )

I guess that’s it for this time around. I’ll end here by tacking on a little something I wrote and am considering sending to a gay themed magazine for their opinion/to see if they’d be interested in running in on their website. (oh yeah, there’s kind of a story there but I’ve written way too much as it is.) It’s nothing really…(just some sugar cookies with frosting – THAT is an inside joke for a few that remember that story…)

Xoxo

Don

ps See you in December. Not sure of my travel dates yet but it will most likely be 7-9 days starting around December 20th!

NEMESIS

Does every gay have a nemesis or is it just me?

And here’s what’s odd: I don’t even know this guy yet I call him my nemesis. I’m not sure the term “nemesis” is correct for this guy but it’s dramatic so I like it. For the purpose of this piece I define nemesis as someone who bothers me and works me up so very much. It’s just that simple.

What makes him my nemesis? I don’t know exactly. Here are some things I do know: I don’t know my nemesis, by name at least. We’ve never been introduced. However I see him at a local coffee chain on a somewhat regular basis. I go for coffee on Friday mornings. It’s like a “Congratulations, you made it through the week!/Job well done” kinda thing. And there he is – every week (and probably everyday for that matter) at 7:45/8:00 am with his laptop PRETENDING to work. I say pretending because we’re in a coffee shop folks, there are boys filtering in and out, he’s looking up from his laptop more than looking at it. I think I’ve heard him type but I wouldn’t put it past him if he had a typing sound track that plays “clickity-clackity” sounds whenever his fingers are near the keyboard. Sometimes he’s holding court at his little table chatting with guys while still looking over their heads and past them at whomever just walked in the door. And that’s not the worst of it. His clothes and general look/persona are what make me crazy. Sometimes I just can’t take it.

Ok, so he’s about late 40s, perhaps early 50s with salt and pepper hair. One thing is for sure – he has had work done. There is no question or need for contemplation on this; it’s been done. Eyes/eyebrows, Botoxed within an inch of his life, my guess is cheek implants to rival the puppet Madame of Madame and Wayland and (though this isn’t “work” per say) an unhealthy tan/skin color. He’s in good shape and does not apologize for it nor does he let anyone overlook it. He wears what I’m sure are shirts from the boys department when he is clearly a men’s small if not a medium. It’s usually a button down shirt with at least the top 3 buttons unbuttoned so as to show off his overgrown chest hair that practically needs a seat for itself at his table. The sleeves are rolled up to show the terrycloth wristband de jour pushed up on his forearm. The rest of the ensemble usually includes cargo shorts and running shoes…sometimes even the dreaded flip-flops. Whatever the outfit and scene he’s involved in on a Friday I always text a few people that I’ve talked to about this guy and let them know the state of affairs when getting my Friday morning coffee.

So he bothers me, that has been established. Therefore you’d think that if/when he’s not there I’d be happy. You’d think that. Well, the last couple of months my Friday mornings have been void of nemesis. For the first few I was like “oh, thank Gawd.” However, as the weeks turned into a months I find myself wondering where he is.

Why do I care?! Yet another “I don’t know” answer. Why do I have SUCH strong negative feelings about a person I’ve never met? I’m sure I have no idea why I have these feelings, only that I do have them. Would a therapist say that my feelings about him are actually more about me? ME?! I don’t even own a terrycloth wristband (do I? wait…no, I don’t…anymore.) Is it the fact that I’ll be his age and am wondering how I’m going to deal with it? Do I secretly want to be invited to sit with him and his chest hair? It’s baffling.

This coming weekend is a neighborhood street fair where a friend and I saw nemesis last year. If I don’t see him wandering that fest I may or may not feel the need to contact local authorities.