Third Quarter 2008

Third Quarter 2008

Maybe I’ll just make this short and sweet since I don’t think I have much to say. Yeah…maybe. And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt (name that movie reference.)

ELECTION

Don’t forget to vote folks. Though for some this election may come down to the lesser of two evils (and by some I mean myself) – exercise your right and privilege. If you find yourself unable to check a name given, do as I’m going to do: write in a name. I’ve already checked with the state of California and write-ins are allowed. I will be writing in Hillary Clinton.

WORK LIFE

This section has been removed to protect the "innocent" - sorry folks. dp

DATING

Every 6 months or so I think it’s a good idea to try on-line dating. Then I go on the date and think” “Why did I do this? It’s always the same old crap?” Then I don’t date on-line for a while…fast forward 6 months and there’s me thinking “Hmmm, maybe THIS time it will be different.” See above for same results and then continue the cycle. SO…about a month ago my “6 month alarm” went off and I decided to get on-line to give dating a try. I met a guy online via a dating website. We exchanged one email each and I thought: “Ok, I’m going to use a different tactic this time. This time I’m going to have a few conversations on the phone before deciding whether or not to connect in person.” I think you tend to get a more real version of a person when talking live versus via email. So Barry (name changed to protect the innocent), that’s his name, and I had a few conversations. They went well enough so I decided to suggest a movie sometime. We made plans to see The Dark Knight a couple of Sundays after it opened. When talking early that day I asked if he thought we should get tickets online for fear of it selling out. He thought we’d be ok. I thought, ok, I can roll the dice, no bigs. Then I asked if I should pick him up, if he wanted to pick me up or if we should meet there. He said that we should meet at the theatre at 7:00 for the 7:20 show. Fine.

So I showed up (a little early) in a VERY cute outfit mind you (shocking, I know). I’m standing in front of the theatre looking around for the guy I remember from the photos I’ve seen online. All of a sudden I see someone waving and I thought “Uh oh.” Ok, so this guy looked MOSTLY like his photo…if we can all agree the photo was taken about 5-10 years ago and about 15 pounds ago. I tried to keep my face from falling when we greeted each other in person. I do feel my disappointment was concealed. As we walked up to buy our tickets he said: “I already got the tickets. I got her early and was nervous they’d sell out.” I said: “Oh thank you so much, that was very nice of you.” And then said as we were walking to our seats: “Can I get some snacks for us?” He responded: “No, thank.” So we found some seats and sat. Pause. Silence. Ok, fine, I’ll go first. “So, how many siblings did you say you had?” “Where are they living?” “What do you do for a living?” I was asking all the questions in this one way interview and he wasn’t doing much but responding (not asking questions in return) and sitting there in his 2 button pullover collared shirt, bad cargo shorts and high tops. Yes, high tops. Ugh.

Here’s what I think; I think he was sitting there thinking: “Oh crap, he looks like his picture and I don’t look like mine AND he’s thinking ‘Ok, I look like my picture BUT he doesn’t look like his.’” True, I was thinking it while we were sitting there in the theatre but to be fair I was also thinking it as we walked into the theatre. Mercifully the movie started and we didn’t have to talk for almost 3 hours. We left the theatre and stood out front…small talk, small talk, and he said “Ok, I’m going to walk home, let’s talk more about this tomorrow.” I said: “Ok, have a good night.” There was NO WAY I was offering him a ride home and elongating this already excruciating date. And Ps, you can use the walk. I’m just saying. So Monday came and I decided I would make the call and say thanks but no thanks to your bridge to nowhere. I got his voicemail. My message was something like this:

“Hi Barry, it’s Don. I just wanted to call and say that it was so nice meeting you in person after talking on the phone and emailing. I’m glad we saw that movie; it was really good. And thank you again for buying the tickets, it was very nice of you and I appreciate it. I thought we had a good time but I don’t think I want to pursue anything romantic going forward. However I am interested in being friends if you are. I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks again. Don.”

Seemingly harmless, right? Appropriate and respectful. I didn’t want there to be any grey area nor did I want it to linger which is why I called right away. Tuesday came and went. No ga-news is good ga-news (wth Gary Gnu). It wasn’t until Wednesday that I received the following voicemail message:

“Hi Don, it’s Barry. Thanks for the follow up call. Yeah I enjoyed the movie too, it was really good. (Blah blah blah …UNTIL:) But I just wanted to say that it wasn’t my intention to pay for your movie ticket. Since I got there early and was concerned it would sell out I bought both tickets. So if you want to reimburse me for your ticket I’m going to text you my address and you can send me a check. If not, no biggie. Thanks.”

Wait…WHAT?! What did I just hear?! I almost drove off Laurel Canyon when I listened to that the message first time. Seriously, my mouth was wide open as he said those last 2 sentences. “…it wasn’t my intention…” Do not start me up. – PLEASE. Well, it wasn’t my intention to meet someone in person that looks different than his photo and on and on. I am riled typing this right now and this happened over a month ago. I saved the voicemail for as long as I could and played it for as many people as I could in order to have witnesses. The message has since expired from my phone or else I would have attached a sound file to this update.

Oh yeah, although it seriously WAS my intention to send him a check (obviously he must have really needed the reimbursement or else he wouldn’t have asked for it) time passed and so did the window of opportunity. To send it now would be even sillier than his asking for it in the first place.

I’ve since gone on 3 more dates since that disaster. One was a set up from the office. TOO much to type now but needless to say a “young 55 year old” is STILL a 55 year old (no offense, of course, to my older readers.) One is studying to be a dentist though didn’t have 30 seconds to run a strand of floss through his teeth the morning we met for coffee. And the third seemed to be worth a second date. No fireworks or a jittery stomach but he’s nice, clean teeth, educated and we had a very nice conversation/coffee date. We went for coffee last night and while it may be the general funk I’ve been in these last 2 weeks (I won’t go into that in this update) or the mere fact that we’re really not a match I will not be following up with nor accepting another invitation for a date from date #3.

ACTING, ETC

My biggest news is that I booked and shot a commercial for Charter Cable. It’s going to air around the U.S. wherever people have access to Charter Cable as a service provider. I saw the breakdown which said something like: “Looking for fashion type people. Must love cats.” I’m all: “Ok, I’m fashiony…but I HATE cats. Ok, so let’s just click ‘submit’ and see what happens.” I was called in for an audition. Yay. They said to wear something fashiony. Since I’d be going to the audition during lunch I wore to work what I wore to the audition. Luckily I’m fashiony in the office, right? I did the audition and thought I did pretty well. So did they, they called me in for a callback. Again, wear something fashiony. Fine, let’s see, what to wear what to wear this time. Oh, great, got it. This time I decided to wear a pair of madras pants (navy, khaki, green & white color scheme) that I cut above the ankle and a white collared shirt under a navy long sleeved snug(ish) shirt. Black loafers, no socks. Cute, right? I mean I wore it to work and it was a success. AnyHOOT, I walked into the audition and someone there for the callback said to me: “That costume is genius!” Of course I turned to see who she was talking to behind me. Yeah, it was me. COSTUME?! Whatevs. I went in, did the callback and received a week later saying I booked the commercial!

They did a couple of different shoots with varying themes all under the “reality show spoof” umbrella during the week. The shoot I was involved in parodied Project Runway. The spoof part was that the designers (the part I was cast in) are designing high end fashions…for cats. So there’s me, on the set, working with LIVE cats. Of course. But then a stroke of good luck. I hear the cat wranglers barking (oddly) at everyone saying “DO NOT TOUCH THE CATS, just let them sit there and they will be fine.” I thought to myself: “PERFECT! I hate cats and don’t want to be bothered.” Cut to me getting on stage for my scene, ready to shoot. I hear the wrangler and the director talking and then I hear from the director “Don, the wranglers think the cats are doing really well today so why don’t we have you pet the cat. Touch it, pet it, stroke it lovingly. You know, like you nornally do when you’re with a cat.” That’s when I was confused: did he want me to pet it lovingly or do what I NORMALLY do when I’m with a cat – which is pick it up and toss it across the room. Ok, fine, I’ll be nice. As it turned out the cat cooperated and I did such a great acting job that the wrangler said “Don, you’re a natural with cats.” Uh huh. Then we got to my last shot which was with a different cat. The wrangler said this as she was bringing him up “Oh Don, this one is being moody today but I’m sure you’ll be able to handle him.” Sigh. Great. Again, thankfully, that puss stayed put. Maybe I was giving off a scent he picked up on. The scent that said: “You make any trouble and you’re history fleabag!” Who knows. All I know is that it went without a hitch and I’m happy about it.

Well, without a hitch on my part. An additional element to all these commercials that Charter Cable was shooting was that they had ACTUAL Charter Cable customers in the shoot as well. And believe me when I say these folks couldn’t get any more ACTUAL then what they were. Charter flew three different people in from different parts of the U.S. to be in this commercial. They were all very nice. One was a man of color in his mid 30s, one was a white woman in her late 50s and the last was an older white man in his late 60s early 70s. He was in my group…of course he was. Two of the highlights from him are when Harry (let’s say his name was Harry) was in the hair and make-up room the director came in and asked if he’d been worked on yet and he said “Yeah, already got my hair-do.” Awe…hair-do.

Then this exchange happened between Harry and the director:


Director – Harry, remember: don’t start your line until I say “action”, ok?

Harry – Ok

Director – Ok everyone, get ready. Harry, ready. And

Harry – ….blah blah blah

Director – CUT. Harry. Remember: “action”

Harry – Sorry

Director – Ok: ACTION

Harry - …blah blah blah I can’t even get this cat to look at me. Blah blah blah

Director – CUT. Harry, you’re supposed to like this cat so look like you’re enjoying this, having a good time, Ok? And say the line ‘I can’t even get this cat to look at me’ with a smile, ok?”

Harry – Ok. …blah blah blah

Director – Harry. Remember: “action”
Harry – Ok, sorry.

Director – ACTION

Harry - …blah blah blah I can’t even get this cat to look at me with a smile. Blah blah blah

DIRECTOR – CUUUUUUUUUUT! Harry, I want you to say WHILE SMILING – I can’t even get this cat to look at me.

Needless to say there were giggles all around. All under our breaths but giggles nevertheless. Poor Harry. Well, actually, poor director, right? He had a lot of patience with the non-actors as well as everyone else (human and animal alike) on set. But it was a great day that started with a 9:00 am call, nothing until the hair and make-up chair at 11:30, then lunch and then nothing until I shot my first scene at 3:30. We wrapped at 7:15.

FRIENDS, FAMILY AND HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

In August I was in Chicago helping my friend Natalie celebrate her 40th birthday. What started out as a “wouldn’t it be great if we could get a few of the people we used to dance with together for a picnic” turned into a grand celebration/reunion. On Friday, August 1 the “Arve Dancers” and students of “Arve School of Dance” descended upon Grant Park for an evening of love, laughs and lots of “remember whens…” We met at the park around 5:00 pm and didn’t leave until we were asked to by the cops on horseback. It was almost midnight. For some of us it had been almost 20 years since we last saw each other. I’ll speak for myself when I say it was a really great time. Looking at those pictures I think: “Wow when I was young I was YOUNG.” Cut to shot of me today – hag. Well, maybe not hag; just older and wiser.

As I have done for the last 4 years I’ll be in Las Vegas for Thanksgiving celebrating the holiday. A best friend that you have come to know (Greg Sample) is now the dance master for the new Chris Angel (mind freak/magician) show at the Luxor. I’ll be attending that show to support him and all the great work he’s been doing with the cast since landing that job a few months ago. I’m very excited for him to see the show.

In December, I’ll be in New York for a long weekend helping another one of my best friends (Josh Prince) celebrate his debut as a Broadway choreographer for the soon to be released production of Shrek: The Musical. And speaking of friends, as some of you know a good friend of mine (Merissa Haddad) was just cast as the wife of Frankie Valle in the Chicago cast of Jersey Boys so I’ll definitely be going to see her in that production. Lots going on with friends. I’m blessed to be surrounded by such talented and loving people.

For Christmas I’ll happily be home! I just booked my flight and here’s my tentative schedule for those interested:

Thursday, December 18 – land in Chicago at 7:15 pm

Wednesday, December 24 – off to the suburbs (exact place where I’ll be staying and how many days is TBD)

Friday/Saturday, December 26/27 – back to the city

Monday, December 29 – depart Chicago at 2:05 pm

I’m looking forward to relaxing, spending time with family and catching up with friends. I hope to spend time with anyone and everyone who can. Drop me an email and let me know what you’re interested in doing.

I guess that’s all for now. It’s so odd to say this on Friday, October 17 but Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Don

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